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Wife's "Obedience": Men and Women are Each
Other's Guardians
Children who do not see their mothers respected
as Decision-makers can be
harmed mentally
[Ref: Our discussion of the
Qur'an 4:34]
I am happy to see that someone has been mature
enough and felt secure enough
about their manhood to speak out
.....finally...... for once........ about the
topic. "The wife's obedience to her husband
issue".
There is not a doubt in my mind that the wife as
well as the husband should
have equal respect for each others feelings,
concerns and desires. However,
this idea of the husband treating the wife as a
child and expecting her to be
blindly obedient, and childlike as opposed to
being mature minded and an adult as
he, breeds really an unsettlling and
non-productive relationships in families
and the society as a whole.
Children reared in that kind of an environment
lose respect for the mother's
opinion and fail to trust her decision-making
ability in the husband's
absence. Allah has said that husbands and wives
are the protectors of each other. If
the wife never gets to be considered as an adult
and equal partner, her
ability to make sound judgements is impaired. It
is only through sharing, respecting
and mutual consultations, giving and sharing that
husbands and wives can grow
into healthy, meaningful, loving relationships.
I think that part of the problems that are in the
Muslim world stem from the
fact that men do not seek the Muslim women's
views. Women process information
differently than men .......they also think and
reason differently from that
of men. These assets are valuable when brought to
the discussion table with
men's ideals. This creates a wholistic view of
things and it enhances
relationships, builds better, more productive
families and sound societies. Allah has
made husbands and wives partners. A good
businessman want a wise partner in his
camp so that he can be successful. Yet, some
Muslim men fail to realize the
benefit and value of the Muslim women's opinions
and ability to aide in decision
making.
This topic really needs more research and group
discussions in the Muslim
community. I hope you will continue to add to
your previous discussion on an
ongoing basis. Muslim men really need to hear
this from other Muslim men.
Thanks again for your eye opening, thought
provoking and most beneficial
contribution to the topic. Sincerely,
Wa salaam, Amatullah V. Abdul-Karim
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2003-08-02 Sat 19:14ct